Change is hard for most of us, especially when it’s a difficult or undesirable change. As COVID-19 cases rise exponentially with hospitalizations and deaths already surging, we are facing a difficult winter ahead of us. Most of us are considering how we might adjust our own behavior to reduce the spread by staying home, socializing less, and canceling holiday gatherings. It’s not easy.
The key to coping with these changes is learning to adopt a mindset of acceptance and adaptability. The people who struggle most with change are the ones who struggle the most to adapt. This isn’t unique to the pandemic. This happens with all kinds of difficult life changes and transitions — chronic illness, disability, aging, grief/loss.
Adaptability is a form of resilience. It’s also a form of acceptance. When we hold on too tightly to what we’ve lost, it prevents us from moving forward. The people who are coping best with this challenging time are the ones who have accepted the change and adapted their lives to fit into this new (hopefully temporary) normal.
What does that look like in practice?
- It means finding a new hobby at home instead of focusing on how much you miss your bowling league.
- It means trying new takeout or testing new recipes at home instead of focusing on how much you miss dining out.
- It means embracing the technology that allows us to stay in touch with loved ones even though we miss being together in person.
- It means thinking creatively about how to overcome barriers created by the need to be socially distant.
This doesn’t mean there isn’t space to grieve. Feel what you feel about what you’ve lost. But don’t let yourself hold so tightly to what was that you aren’t able to see what can be. Consider how you might build a fulfilling life that allows you to move forward rather than spending all of your time looking back.